Sunday, May 8, 2011


I am the the luckiest girl alive!! I don't know why I have been so emotional today but I keep reflecting on the gift I was given just over 2 years ago of continuing to be here to be my children's mother. I know Heavenly Father still has so much for me to learn and accomplish here because otherwise I would have been another statistic in the cancer numbers. There are not many cases of finding pancreatic cancer in the early stages and removing it only through surgery. Why was I one of the blessed ones? I believe these 5 special spirits are a huge part of the reason I am so blessed!! They each have very individual, strong personalities that I learn so much from each day. There are days I wonder why they chose me to be their mother because I feel I fail them, but I am thankful Heavenly Father has entrusted them to me to teach and to love and to nurture. I love being a Mom!! I have found myself renewed today in my desire to do better!! To not let some of the physical affects of my surgery hinder me in the responsibilities I have in raising these 5 precious spirits. To not be quite so short on patience. To not be so selfish with my time and energy. To spend just a little bit longer each day making sure they know I love them sooooo much!

Today has been a wonderful mother's day! I got most of my "present" yesterday since Sunday's are a bit crazy around here with Andy's church responsibilities. I was surprised with freshly mopped floors, laundry sorted and started, bedrooms cleaned, a closet that has been bugging me cleaned out and organized, and our Excursion vacuumed out! Andy was a busy guy yesterday (and we even had time to drive to Greybull to look at lots to potentially build on). I enjoyed taking the oldest 3 kiddos the high school play too. Then this morning Aaron make me breakfast and then proceeded to get breakfast for the other kids too. Aidan gave Ashlee her bath. I got lots of "What else can I do to help, Mom?" After church I received precious gifts made just for me. We had a wonderful dinner at my parent's house, prepared mostly by my Grandma Ruth with my Grandma Joyce bringing yummy desserts. I felt bad that my wonderful mom was sick on her birthday (yesterday) and today. We did get to see her for a few minutes and wish her happy birthday and mother's day! I only hope to be close to as wonderful mother as my mom is. I was just thinking today in church about how my mom is the one I always turn to for advice. She knows everything in my book. It made me wonder if I will ever get to that stage. Will my kids be able to call me, or will I have to tell them to call Grandma?

I have so many wonderful examples of being a mother in my life! My own mother, my grandmas, my mother-in-law, and Andy's grandmas all contribute to the mother I am trying to be. I also have aunts and aunt-in-laws that I glean things from too. That is the wonderful thing about being a mother and a woman in general - we all love to help each other. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father has allowed me the opportunity to be a mother. I am not very good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words on paper, but I hope that my children know that I treasure the opportunity to be their mom. I remember anxiously awaiting the day Aaron would say the word "Mama!" Now somedays I pretend to ignore it when I
hear it, but only temporarily!! :) Thank you, Aaron, Aidan, Megan, Kenna, and Ashlee for choosing me to be your mother!! I love you!!

Yes, he is really this tall! I had to stand up to take a picture with him. It won't be too many more mother's days until he is taller than me.

Aidan and I share the same squinty eyes. Yes, they are open, but it is hard to tell when we smile!

My little Dolly! Oh how I wish I had the same thick hair she inherited from her dad. She may not look like me, but she is my little clone in so many other ways.

My little princess, girly-girl!! It is hard to tell in the picture but she still has her two-toned hair and the dark part is only getting darker and the light stuff has yet to ever change color. I get asked quite often if I highlight her hair cause she has such beautiful natural highlights.

Ashlee Rose - my little clone (in looks but not in attitude!!) She keeps me young or rather makes me feel old! She keeps us on our toes but brings a lot of joy and laughter too. I am not sure any kid has as many nicknames as Ash - and she answers to all of them! Ash, Rosie, Rose, Ashlee Beaners, Beaners, Bean, Monster Baby, Ashlee Beans

The wonderful man who made it possible for me to be called Mom! The last almost 13 years have been amazing! I can't imagine having a better best friend to go through this life with. He is my rock! He keeps me sane when life gets crazy! He steps in when my nerves and patience are shot! He makes me laugh and he holds me when I just need to cry. He listens to my play by play at the end of each day. He knows when I need to hear his voice or get a text from him just to know he is thinking about me. He always has time to listen to me even when he is in the middle of a busy day at work. I couldn't ask for a better man to call my husband and father of my children!